Ken Lay Screaming in Hell

2006-07-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Sunday in Hell

We've been getting fresh meat from Lebanon and Israel, along with the steady flow from Iraq. Pandemonium is stuffed with Christians, Moslems and Jews, and apparently going to get more full in the near future. The believers are in for a nasty surprise.

2006-07-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

Colin Powell says Iraq is in a civil war

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/powell-on-iraq-couric-on_b_24599.html

Word on the street here in Pandemonium is that Saddam's sons will be given time off to torment Colin when he makes his debut in Hell.

Rumor has it they will be using mobile biological weapons labs to irrigate Colin's colon, followed by some deep probing with aluminum tubes.

2006-07-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

Day Three in Hell

They gave me a few minutes off to read my obituary in the New York Times, which said:

"He learned the value of money early...."

Despite my horrible situation, that got a laugh out of me. Then it was back to being buggered senseless for this portion of the rest of eternity.

2006-07-07T12:34:00.000-07:00

Day Two in Hell

Georgie:

Christ it's hot. Apparently Enron has been sending a lot of energy down here. People said we made a deal with the Devil, but I swear Skilling never told me about this.

Day One was Orientation. In the morning they buggered me senseless. After a short tea break they picked up the tempo.

Georgie, I've got some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that they already have a spot picked out for you in a room run by Zarqawi and some other pissed off Arabs. The goods news is that most of your family, friends, and loyal supporters will also be coming down here--although they'll be too busy being tormented to be much comfort for you.

Do me a favor and ask Cheney to say a few prayers to Lucifer, asking him to give me an easier gig. Cheney's a favorite down here, and I think his intercession might get me into a room where things are a bit easier.